Belief #1: My Past Mistakes will follow me the rest of my life

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The following quotations are taken from a worksheet compiled for a telecourse that was offered by Marie Roker of http://www.thinkandbesuccessful.com Visit her site. She is GREAT!

QUOTE:
So you made a few mistakes in your life and now you believe that you are condemned for life. Mistakes or errors in judgment are learning experiences. However, you will not learn anything from them if you carry them around like a scarlet letter. By condemning yourself, you continue to live in pain. By allowing your past to haunt you, you are not giving yourself the opportunity to make peace with yourself. It’s time to forgive yourself and let it go.

What have you done in your past that you are ready to let go of and find peace?
END QUOTE

One of the things from my past that I have had a difficult time getting past, was the time I was dishonest with someone I barely knew...and wound up cheating her. This happened more than 20 years ago.

A thought just popped into my head: maybe she knew "where I was at the time" and intended things to turn out the way they did. This may be true, or it may be my attempt to rationalize away what I did. I am reminded of the Friar and Jean Valjean in Les Miserables. The Friar took him in and when Jean stole from him and was caught, the Friar said that he had given permission for take the items he did and that he also had forgotten some things. This changed the course of Jean's life.

But really, can I do anything about what I did, to move on?

I cannot repay the original person I wronged. I saw her only once. She has probably gotten past the incident long ago. I pray that she has.

So, if I have repented (and I think I have)...and I have confessed (I have in prayer and I have here, now)...how can I make restitution, which I believe would be the next/final step in moving on?

I can do something charitable for someone who was either: in the position I was at that time, or in the position this woman was at that time. I can help a single woman who is basically "alone" in some concrete way, or I can help a newlywed (?) woman whose husband is away from home through a job, etc.... like making a meal, or babysitting for some alone time for her...

Keep my eyes out for this.

QUOTE:
How has holding on to this regret affected your life?
ENDQUOTE

Holding on to this regret has left some part of me in the past of 20 years ago. How can I commit to things in th here and now when part of me is stuck in another space-time contiuum (sp)? It has also caused me to feel badly about myself, like I am unworthy of success because I did something "wrong" at a prior time in my life. It has been a little scar on my soul that has festered for 20 years - foul smelling, rotting and DANG AM I REALY TO GET RID OF IT!

QUOTE:
What are you willing to accept about this regret?
END QUOTE

That it happened, and that I can never pay it back...but I can pay it forward, as the saying goes. I can dig out the rot, clean out the wound, apply anti-biotic ointment and a nice Dora the Explorer bandage (from my daughter) and finally let it heal. I feel better already.