Back in the Saddle Again

This is actually the same title I gave an entry on my homeschool blog, but given the amount of time since my last post, it seems relevant.

I'm going to whine a bit here:

I had gotten a temporary job at a major online retailer for the holidays. It was temp-to-perm. They have a detailed system whereby if you are late or absent you get "points". If you get 6 points you are out of there. A "no-call, no-show" is 3 points. An "unexcused absence" is 1.5 points (and unexcused seems to be anything that does not involve a doctors note or major media intervention).

On the day before Thanksgiving, I called in sick (I think throwing up qualifies). We do not have a doctor here, nor do we have insurance right now. An initial visit would be at least $100, especially if it involved medication. We did not have $100 either. It was taking $10 for a round-trip to work and back just in gas. I figured calling in would cover the "unexcused" part. The next day, I was not sure if we had to work or not. Last I heard was that either we would not work at all, or go in at midnight. (What they did was send people on night shift home at midnight that started Thanksgiving and have them come back in at midnight that ended the holiday in order to avoid having to pay holiday pay. You can probably guess what I think of that.)

In any case, I drove to my ride-shares home in time for the regular start of shift, because I did not know what was going on.. Her children and grandchildren were there. She said that we did not have to go in at least until midnight, and that we were supposed to call in. She could not find the call-in number. We called information and got "a" number. There was no answer at that number. She sent her daughter over to her husband's house where there was some job paperwork to see if there was another number. There was, but there was a problem with that one as well. I drove back home (about 45 minutes worth) and called the number I had used to call in the previous night. They gave me a OT Hotline number ending in 2665. He repeated the number twice and I repeated the number twice. I called that number and it said it was disconnected. Great. I called my ride-share and we decided we had done everything possible short of driving in (which would be another 1.5 hours one way for me) to find out if we needed to go to work. So we didn't.

The next night we found out that we were supposed to have worked at midnight. But about 20-40 people were not there. There was yet another problem...when they called in to the correct number, ending in 2265, they were presented with 3 options "inbound, outbound and something else". Well, we were part of "outbound", except nobody knew that. So the recorded message that was there was not heard by a significant part of the workforce that night. The bosses said they were "working with" the temporary agency to see if that would be a "pointable offense". Now, they have forms there where you can request that points be removed from your record, but you have to turn it in within 48 hours. By Saturday we had not heard anything, even though I had asked several times. So I filled out one of those papers. I turned it in to my manager, who said he would pass it along to human resources. I did not hear anything back on that.

On Wednesday, Dec 8, there was a noticed up about severe weather (which was anticipated in the area for the next day). It talked about the "unlikely event of a warehouse closing due to inclement weather" and what radio and tv stations to listen to to see. At the bottom it said not to come in if we felt it would jeopardize our safety and that our safety was of their utmost concern. Well, on Thursday, I had to kick the screen door of our house open as it had been frozen shut. The roads were icy and I did not feel it was a good idea for me to drive that far alone as there were great altitude changes and if you've driven rural Kentucky before, 2 miles as the crow flies can be 10-15 on the road. So I called in.

Friday and Saturday, I was throwing up my toes, so I called in on both days. I figured they would probably not want that on their products.

On Tuesday (my next regularly scheduled work day), I drove 1.5 hours to Lexington to go to work. (The trip has taken me an hour before, but that was before the speeding ticket - my first.) When I got there, my badge would not let me in the turnstyle, so I was asked to go to the temp agency trailer. When I got there, the attendant was apparently too busy shuffling papers to pay attention to the two people needed his help for several minutes. By the time I got up there, he told me that my assignment had been terminated on the 11th (the previous Saturday) for attendance. Then he told me he needed my badge back and held out his hand. He talked like a guard at a prison.

Now, my beef is this. Did they count the Thanksgiving snafu? I feel that would be wrong. And since they do not specify what an "un/excused absence" was, in my opinion I should have only gotten 1 point i/o 1.5 points for each of the other days.

So, should I let it go and just move on, or should I protest in some way...write a letter or....? What do you think?

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New Job

Been a while, eh?

I started a new job on Thursday (11/10). I work at the Amazon warehouse in Lexington. The first night wasn't so bad. We were only there five hours and in training for four of that.

Starting the 2nd night, we had to walk about 15 miles per shift doing the job. After two nights, I can barely move. The first night I asked Chris to take my shoes off because I could not bend down. He put some Ben Gay on them and they felt a little better. Standing up in the morning was a ... well, it was tough anyway. :)

The 3rd night, i was sliding my feet along the floor (as opposed to walking) by the time I was done. We also got the news that there was required OT this week, but we had our choice of Sunday, Monday or Tuesday. I did not think I could survive another consecutive night, so Sunday was out; neither did I want to work 5 days in a row on the other end (T-SA) so Tuesday was out...so I'm breaking up my weekend and going in on Monday night.

Soaked my feet in epsom salts earlier and they feel a little better.

Another proof to me that there is a God, because I had no strength of my own to finish that shift on Saturday-Sunday. Especially when I found out when I was ready to walk out the door that I had forgotten my glasses and had to go back up to the 3rd floor (by the stairs) to get them. When I got out to the van and took weight off my feet they hurt so bad it was either pound the side of the car or cry....I chose the former.

The ride home was an adventure as well. I started out in Lexington with 1/8 a tank. I was not even sure I could make it home. I was going over in my mind places on the way home where it would be safe for me to pull over and make a call. Thank goodness for the cell phone Chris bought for me to take to the job and back. I made it home w/the indicator on the gas gauge on the lower part of empty.

Then I was "attacked" by Gabby and her puppies. Not really attacked, of course, but it was cold and they were happy to see me. I had to hold onto the side of the van to stand up under the onslaught. :) And I held onto the side of the house when I got to it.

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Counting My Blessings

The suggestion for Day 4 of the Writing Bliss/Daily Writes course is writing down all the blessings that have come my way, be they large or small in the past week. Then spend 10 minutes free-writing about the best blessing.

So...what have my blessings been this week?
1. FIL let me use his truck to go look for work (I was gone about 4 hours and put quite a few miles on the truck).
2. Mamaw has let us borrow a cup of sugar, spaghetti, you name it, this week.
3. We had a nice family walk yesterday.
4. I cleared some air with my DH (see previous entry).
5. I am blessed that we are the kind of people that talk things out rather than fight them out.
6. My 2 year old daughter finally let me comb/brush her hair to the point that she stopped struggling and found out maybe it wasn't so bad after all!
7. I didn't wreck FIL's truck while I was out.
8. I put in applications at a plastics factory, updated an app at Walmart, put more in at Dollar Tree, Subway and a temp-agency.
9. I didn't argue with the folks when they told me they needed a copy of my HIGH SCHOOL diploma in order to register with them. (I graduated in 1979.) I may need to dig into a hermetically sealed mayonnaise jar under the porch for that one. Sorry...Johnny Carson moment.
10. I have not lost my sense of humor.
11. My tangled mass of hair seems like it is finally loosening and lessening and it looks like I will not have to cut it. (As stated previously it would necessitate turning top-of-thigh-length hair into a pixie cut.
12. Chris used Mamaw's sander-massager on me without my asking him to! We call it sander-massager because it looks like a heavy-duty tool that you bear down on with both hands and it feels so good!
13. My stress has overall been better.
14. Homeschool on Monday went well! I think it's the best it's ever gone for me.
15. I was able to take all 3 children to church and not run from the building in shame. :)
16. Perhaps this would be a good point to say I have 3 wonderful blessings in my children.
17. Brian is/can be considerate, caring and super-intelligent.
18. Benjamin is very loving and concerned with being a "good boy".
19. Trinity is my harbor chick...a reference to the line from Ghostbusters II. Very few of the spills she takes (she's 2) seem to have any effect on her. She bounces back quite easily. Now all she needs is a little leather and black sunglasses and she'll could be in a "Bad to the Bone" video. *LOL*
20. Trinity can now drive the John Deere 4-wheeler Papaw got for the kids by herself.
21. We have a roof over our head.
22. We have heat.
23. We have enough food.
24. I have some wonderful online friends who are sustaining me with their prayers.
25. I had a good time at a Bible Study at the Church of God on Wednesday night last week. It had been one of those days and I just needed some time out of my usual surroundings. I went back refreshed.
26. FIL made us a GREAT breakfast on Sunday before we went to church.
27. Mamaw and FIL's wife have said they need to get back to church.
28. I found my way around fairly easily today.

I think the biggest blessing I had this week was clearing some air with my DH. He was upset about some previous posts I had made in this blog. He felt they were character-assassinating. I expressed concern over a card he had received from a supposedly lesbian friend of his. I say supposedly because I told him that I did not believe she was...and that I objected to her sending him that card. For the first time I feel like he acknowledged my feelings instead of just saying that they weren't correct. That means a lot to me. I know a lot of people will find it hokey, but when I married, I promised not only DH, but also God that I was in the marriage for "better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and health". Well, sometimes things are "worse", sometimes they are "poorer", sometimes they are in "sickness"...maybe a lot of the time. Let's face it, life and relationships sometimes suck. But I believe it is the rough times that let us appreciate the good times. Sorry, DS1 came by to use the bathroom and has congestiion He wanted some nasal spray but we don't have any right now. Back to the blessing stuff. :D My ten minutes is not up yet.

So what are the good things about my husband?

He is a caring father. He would do anything for the good of his children. He is way involved in their lives. He teaches them in the homeschool when I cannot, either due to working or being overwhelmed.

He and I are good complements of each other. Where one is weak, the other is strong and vice versa.

He is exceptionally smart, moreso than he gives himself credit for (awkward grammer there).

He sent me a sweetest day card that said he loved me and believed in me...and it made me cry it was so thoughtful (I'm guessing this was sent before he read the blog, but I'm also guessing that I will hear from him within a day or so whether that was the case.)

There are not the only good qualities he has. I will have to do a 2nd part to his post at some point. :D And I'm not just kissing up, either.

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Ooops...

Well, apparently my DH has been reading in my blog...and is none too happy about it. "Character Assassination" was his term. "An outlet for my feelings that could not be discussed with him" was mine. He also felt that I have been talking him down to his family. I said the only thing new they've heard from me is that he told me he had asked his dad for a loan and his dad says that never happened. He said his dad probably forgot.

We don't fight like some couples do...we don't even have shouting matches. He even sent the kids on ahead (we were on a nature walk) to mention it to me.

On the one hand I need an outlet for my feelings so I don't go to his family. I could go see a therapist (I've got issues of my own-and don't we all). I felt that his was ok, because no one that is in our "circle of acquaintances" reads this and 99-100pct of the people that DO read it will never meet us so what does it matter what I write?

But it bothers him, and he is my husband (part of my family) and, well, a Proverbs 31 Woman (which is something for which I am striving) would not do something that downs her man like that, so I will either find a different way to express my feelings or a different place that is totally anonymous.

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Gold Mine - Day 2

OK. Three minutes. I can write for three minutes. I wish there was a real gold mine on FIL's land. Apparently there are springs and natural gas but no gold. I don't know. Maybe it just hasn't been discovered yet. We saw geodes on the walk we had a couple weeks ago. But we went early in the evening and it was HOT. Things have cooled down a bit since then. The land is beautiful. Chris had a spot picked out he wanted for a house some day but then his dad cut down some trees, so he picked out a different spot. I like it better. It is up a hil and surrounded by trees. There wouldn't even have to be any cut down to make way for the house and I think that would be important. Of course it would be a while before we could afford a house. Our credit sucks. He sent me a "Sweetest Day" card. Boys are watching Danny Phantom. My hair is tangled and my head itches. I've done a lot of housecleaning today but haven't done too much about self-cleaning. Note to self: TAKE CARE OF YOU!

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Gold Mine

I got this idea as Day Two in a email writing course called Daily Writes.

The idea, I believe is stream-of-consciousness writing for 3 minutes a day as a place to come for writing ideas when your well dries up temporarily.

I'm going to have to try watching the computer clock because the microwave we have does not have t timer on it. It can be a microwave, a broiler, a convection oven and don't ever try to nuke popcorn in it. For some reason that sets it to sparking. Why is it that my oldest son has a headache that is too severe for him to complete his writing assignment but not bad enough for him to not play "Mercenaries" on the PSII? I saw right through that one. Chris is going out to check the mail. I'm spending too much time going back to check my writing, to see if the spelling is correct and the grammar, no...that's not true, I don't give a flip about grammar, really. I mean so long as it sounds "right" it doesn't have to sound stilted. Yuck. I hate pretense. Apparently DS1 is also well enough to stand up in a canvas chair and to come over and talk to me instead of doing his writing work. You see we homeschool. HOmeschooling would provide a wealth of things about which to write as indeed it soes on my Homeschool Journey.

That's about 3 minutes.

I'm guessing I'll come back and add to this post in the future, the author of the course suggests daily, or I guess I could just number them sequentially and make it look like I have a lot of blog entries! :D

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Take Action Challenge!

I got these questions from a take action challenge on the "Suicide and Depression" group on Care 2.

1. What am I tolerating?
The biggest thing I am tolerating that it makes me angry at me for doing so is the lies of my husband. He lies about his online relationships with women. He lies about the birthday cards he gets from them that I find stuffed under the house. He lies about the bank statements he hides to cover his spending. He lies about conversations he's had with his father. A kicker...the envelope containing said birthday card from a supposedly lesbian friend...was addressed to the right address, but not his real name. He has been lying to her too! Why do I do this? Well, for one thing, I promised "for better or worse, in sickness and health, until death do us part"...and I don't take that lightly. It is aggravating but irrelevant that he has not kept his promises...it is still important for me to keep mine. Secondly, because he does have bi-polar disorder and his mother was apparently addicted to at least painkillers while she was pregnant with him...for how much of this can I really hold him accountable? I mean, if he's not in his "right mind"...

2. What's working in my life? (It's important to build on what works!)
Kinship with DH's father's family. I get along great with them (at least I think so). There was a family reunion last weekend, and the daughter of the host and hostess put me right at ease. It should be noted that the daughter of the hostess has children of her own...so we weren't talking child here. But her children were remarably tolerant of my boys as well. I felt right at home there.

I enjoy the friendships I have found online. I enjoy having gotten back into writing, be it blog/journal, story, play, whatever.

And I have been enjoying an increase in my spiritual life in the last week or so.

3. What's not working?

Lack of employment. I have worked outside the home for 6 years in Texas until we moved here. Chris claimed to have gotten a job here with a company that restored old aircraft for airshows and museums. He even went out of town for a night - which begs the question what exactly was he doing while he was away. Not necessarily another woman, although that is a distinct possibility. I was supposed to be able to stay home for a while and homeschool the boys. Now I have to go get an outside job. I'm not saying "oh, poor pitiful me". I've worked before. I'm good at it. I resent that it was supposed to be his turn and that I have to cover for him again. I do it because our children deserve a better life.

4. What keeps driving me crazy?

See answers to #1 and #3 above. Confrontation over the lies only brings more lies. And DS1 has been getting far to full of "lip" these days. He is EXTREMELY bright...but he knows it.

5. Is there an important relationship that's suffering?

See #1 and #3 above. I also miss my mother. She lives in Salt Lake City, but is in a Christian Science-run nursing home in the Sacramento area. She had lost the use of her hands (I believe to arthritis) and could not walk by herself...when she got there. She can now walk unassisted for short distances. I was worried when I heard she may be going to a nursing home that I might never get to see her again. She and my brother had talked about paying for me to fly out to Salt Lake to see her, but now that she is in a privately-run nursing facility...there just isn't the $$$$.

6. What's the first step I need to take to improve things?

Get over my introversion and work my home businesses (Tupperware and greeting cards). That would help us in the financial front as well as my emotional state. It is difficult for me, but once I had come out of my shell enough times to get some business going I feel like a load of stress would fall off my soul as well.

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Tweety's Prayer

I got this in an email earlier...just HAD to post it here. No author name was provided to me. This is me most days....

Dear Lord,

So far today, I am doing all right.

I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed, or eaten any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit card.

But I will be getting out of bed in a minute, and I think that I will really need your help then!

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Blah Day

Well, they can't all be stupdendous, I suppose.

Got the boys back on schooling today. The county was out last week and they were out this week, but the boys are getting downright uncontrollable. When I was trying to think of "5 things I say often" yesterday, a lot of them had salty words directed at the boys. Brian, especially, has been snide, disrespectful and whiny. Ugh.

And, yes, I am trying to take into account the fact that I have been without Effexor for more days than I can remember. Although that is not saying much...I can hardly remember the morning when evening rolls around. Today was rough on me.

Last week, Chris said that he had asked his dad for help on our electric bill which had to be paid by Monday or it would be turned off Tuesday. Yesterday morning got dressed and said he was going over with the bill to his Dad's to get the money and go to Danville to pay it, because he was sure they would be out before noon.

Well, about twenty minutes after he left the electric company truck stops after just passing our driveway, backs up and pulls up our driveway. I throw on a dress (inside out, I might add) and go outside to say that Chris is on the way. I know, that's like saying "the check is in the mail". I asked if he could call the office. He did. Chris had not made it there. I asked if he could give it a 1/2 hour. He said no. He was respectful, though, so it wasn't too bad.

Chris's dad had pulled into his mother's driveway (next door to us) and drove over. The company man explained that he still had to turn it off but that he would be in the area and when Chris did get there and pay that they would call him and he would come back and turn it back on. Chris's dad said that there were children in the house so please come asap once the call had been made.

We went over to Mamaws (although it was not cold OR hot in the place) but without lights or the tv it was rather...dull. :) Chris's dad went to Don's to get the kids breakfast sandwiches and brought back a loaf of bread, some ham and a two liter of Pepsi as well.

I can't tell you how LOUSY I felt having to face Chris's Dad at that point. I wish Chris had been there. I feel he should've been there getting that feeling as well. We dont' need two incomes in the house, but we do need one. If he were disabled, it would be different for me. I wouldn't necessarily like having to go out and work, but I would do it because it needed to be done. But I've been the one doing that for 6 years...while he has been home on the computer.

Why don't I use this as impetus for working a home business? I don't know. Maybe I need the effexor back. Maybe I just need a swift kick in the butt.

I had made the boys "big boy noodles" (Ramen) for lunch and Brian was coming over for 2nd or 3rds...I don't remember now. I was a bit, um, vocal in my stating to Brian that he should leave some for other people. Chris got up, put on shoes and a shirt and told the boys to get dressed. Immediately my mind goes to "well, he's probably going to go over to his dad's and complain on me" as it was apparent that wherever they were going, I was not invited.

They went outside to play with the puppies. Chris sent Brian back in for the flea spray and I wound up bringing it out. Chris had once said he was a little "put off" because he had asked me for something and I told Benjamin to get it. I asked Brian did his Dad ask me to bring it or simply to give it to Brian. He didn't answer me, so I took it out. We spent a good deal of time outside and I went over to talk to Mamaw a bit, who was sitting on her carport. Chris's Dad came over and Trinity hornswaggled her Daddy into giving her a ride.

I've still been working on getting the rat's nest out of my hair. Chris asked if I wanted to get it cut. I told him if I did I would have to go from having hair down to the tops of my legs to hair above the shoulder. I'm going to continue working on it for a while.

On Blogazoo today, I read a blog by someone in a writing course who was complaining about the pitiful state of a classmate's work. Nothing was right with it. And she planned on going in the next day and telling her in blunt terms what she thought. It seemed rather vicious and so I left a comment. I was "nice" but took a certain amount of glee at someone who corrected her spelling.

I've gone on long enough...

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5 Things....

5 things I plan to do before I die;
a. visit Scotland
b. work on my family history.
c. figure out what God wants me to do here.
d. own a Jaguar (vehicle)

5 things I can do;
a. run a home business.
b. homeschool my children.
c. change myself.
d. listen to a friend.
e. love my family.

5 things I cannot do;
a. change someone else.
b. keep my blood pressure at a good level. :(
c. change my past.
d. cure all that ails my family.
e. speak Hindi.

5 things that attract me to other people;
a. sense of humor.
b. kindness.
c. honesty.
d. loyalty
e. long hair on a guy (hey, I'm human)

5 things I say most often;
a. "Boys, I'm changing the channel on the tv!"
b. "The dog needs to stay in the barn with her puppies."
c. "Obey first, question later."
d. "Will you change her this time?"
e. "No, you cannot come in without a court order."

5 celebrity crushes;
a. Antonio Banderas
b. Gary Oldman
c. Tommy Lee Jones
d. Yul Brynner
e. Larry Sellers

5 people I want to do this.
a. my brother.
b. my mother.
c. my husband.
d. Steph M.
e. Lenora

And that's the way the Gazoo bounces....


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