Resolutions for people with Anxiety Disorder(s)

Here is the link!

It goes to an article of the same/similar name on About.com. I have never been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, but it seemed like it could be good advice for chronic depression as well.

So, their top ten were:

1. I resolve to get out of my treatment rut.
My own personal treatment rut is running out of money and not being able to afford the anti-depressant medication Effexor. I took 300 mg per day, which is roughly double the "normal" dosage and 75 mg/day more than the county folks "maximum dosage". We also have to struggle with each new insurance company saying it's too high and higher than the manufacturer's recommendation. Then I get even more depressed and withdrawn and it takes my husband arguing with and almost threatening the insurance company in order to get their "ok".

Even when we had regular insurance, sometimes the $30 co-pay was too much. Considering our even more precarious position now, that seems incredible to me. We've paid for two months cash and the price was about $230!

My brother was supposed to have sent a check from him and my mother for Christmas. Granted he is a busy man, but he still has not mailed it. I called him today, just to make sure it hadn't been sent and gotten taken out of the mailbox.

My goal after reciving the check is to send to Fort Worth for Ben's and T's birth certificates so that I can get on whatever's left of Medicaid after the highly paid elected representatives gutted it, and get back on Effexor until we get some sort of other regular, affordable insurance plan. And for those who may be turning up their nose at a prospective welfare recipient, I was working a job from an agency, caught the flu at the warehouse where I had been placed and spread it to my whole family. Due to the time off I had to take, I was "let go" from that assignment. And if you think that is over-embellishment, I will be happy to show you the pictures of vomit-laden blanket and bedsheet piles that grew for a week as fast as we could keep them washed. (My, that was a vivid image, wasn't it?)

I guess I should be grateful that even if I go back, I do go forward at times too. I resolve to change the ratio in favor of steps forward in 2006.

2. I resolve to seek professional help if I haven't already.
I don't have a problem asking for help in this area. I first saw a LCSW in my early twenties when my mother offered to pay because she could only reason that I was crazy because I did not agree with her. That's as close an explanation as I can determine. But she badgered the therapist about telling her what was wrong with me. She was told that therapist-patient confidentiality prevent her from doing that. Ok, so that gave me a giggle.

Like, I said above ... when the money comes I will send to Fort Worth for Ben and T's certificates, which will enable me to apply for Medicaid.

3. I resolve to ask family and friends for help and encouragement.
Family and friends, yes. Anyone else, forget it. I feel like Chris's father's family would be concerned, almost as much for me as for the children, but they would be supportive even to the point of driving me to appointments if I was having a difficult day. Chris (DH) himself is usually quite helpful, watching the kids when my brains are going to seep out (just kidding!), KWIM?

Due to circumstances which include his mother trying to get custody on a groundless basis about 5 years ago, I feel MUCH MORE hesitant even mentioning the word depression to his mother's side of the family. But people who live in glass houses, you know...and that's all I will say about that one at this time.

And let's not even go into CPS, especially the "bad cops". We came up with that term for the self-righteous aggressive agents among them who believe any accusation presented to them and will threaten to bring around the police to force their way into your home. (Man, am I digressing or what? But I'm on a roll.) In our last encounter (when we were reported by someone who has paranoid schizophrenia) we encountered both good cops and bad cops. However I would not even tell the good cops about the depression.

4. I resolve to build a support system rather than relying on only one family member or friend.
I worry that I rely too much on Mamaw for this. She is so conveniently close. But she is 83 years old and she doesn't need to hear all my crap. But she will listen when I need it and that is such a blessing.

Aside from that and the therapy, I am in several online groups in regards to issues of depression and related disorders and can find some good support there. I would like also to have some IRL mutual support, possibly church-based, but that's not a requirement.

5. I resolve to take care of my body because the health of my body affects my entire being.
That was one good thing the walking did at Amazon. It was wrong to start out going from sedentary to 15 miles of walking per day. But by the 3rd and 4th weeks the walking was easier...at least I did not feel like I had to say to myself "I will NOT let the b*****d get me down". It had smoothed into a "dang, I can't wait to get home and get out of these shoes!'

Nutrition is really the area where I need work. I drink far too much caffeine and carbonated beverages. I have far to many empty calories as part of my "diet". Some of this will be encouraging my family to eat healthier. DH is meat and taters and not too many taters. Granted his plate is full when we eat, but there is only chicken (like 2-3 chicken breast halves)...no potatoes, no corn, nuttin'. I was looking at his profile in the hallway yesterday when the power went out and I thought he looked like he was a pregnant woman. I don't say this to belittle him, I say it out of concern, and since I am overweight myself I'm not pointing fingers at anyone else that aren't also pointing at me...which is quite a nice trick when you think about it..

So my resolution in this area is to cut down my caffeine/soda consumption to 12 oz per day (it's probably closer to 60-72 oz right now) and to follow the Large Family Logistics meal plan so at least five of our meals during a week are balanced.

*****

The rest of the ideas I'll cover tomorrow. This is already kind of long.

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